IETF is torquing my brain

I've been here three days and everything is turning into a protocol to me. This morning at the restaurant my co-workers and I weren't sure who was the waitress for our table, and I found myself woolgathering about a specification for a remote server identification protocol, along with related protocols for server configuration and assignment.

Then I realized that ad-hoc versions of these protocols already exist and are used by restaurant administrators. It's just that only simple local-area protocols are implemented by the majority of restaurant clients; e.g., "read nametag", "give menu" (some servers implement the optional "recite daily specials" protocol extension), "order food", "bring check", etc. Someone clearly needs to write this all up in RFC format.